When I started to write a meditation on soul groups and soul mates, I was shocked at the number of communal myths I discovered.
The biggest one is that a “soul connection” is somehow better, or more valid, than any other kind of connection. It isn’t. It just means that you and the other person have had some kind of previous relationship.
How we respond to those relationships – ones we continue or ones we decide to leave behind – reflects our spiritual growth.
We tend to go around in groups – reincarnating together over several lifetimes for many reasons: we like each other; we hate each other; we are learning similar lessons. Sometimes we are buddies, sometimes family; others we are spouses, star crossed lovers, or mortal enemies.
Although we aren’t always aware of them we all have these connections. It is when someone in the group (or relationship) doesn’t want to play the same old game anymore that we take notice.
What happens when one member of the group starts to grow at different rate? What if some of the group members decide that they like where they are and want to put growth on hold? What if a group breaks apart to learn different lessons?
Change: change can happen in a variety of ways. As with all relationships, change can be amicable or contentious.
When I was in college, I did a play and a friend of my Mother’s came to see it. When he came back stage after the show to say hi, he had two friends with him. All four of us felt an instant recognition – a group flashback. It was clear that we had done some important learning together.
It was a wonderful feeling – that connection – but it was also a bit like going to a high school reunion. We had a good visit; a nice evening; and that was all. We’d moved on to different lessons. The connection, while strong, was no longer relevant.
At the grocery store, the man in front of me was looking at the front of one of the tabloid magazines. The cover was a “then and now” picture of a celebrity losing the battle with drug addiction – pretty standard fare for the tabloids. He turned to me. Visibly shaking, and pointed his finger at the paper saying, “That stuff will ruin you.”
He told me that he never did it (drugs) but that his family did. His brothers were in and out of jail before they were all killed by or because of drugs. His family would not speak to him anymore because he refused to get involved in drugs.
It had been 30 years. He made his own life – but he still missed his family; his brothers. This was a soul group he’d been with for a long time – it hurt him, but he found a way to leave because he didn’t fit any longer.
The romantic inside us dreams of finding a soul mate. We search for that intense spiritual connection – the abiding love lasting across lifetimes. While the “…no sooner looked, but they loved…” scenario does happen, it is no more true or valid than any other romantic connection.
What we tend to forget in our search for established soul connections is that they all had a starting point. That “old friend” or “forever love” was actually new once.
I met my oldest friend in junior high school. Over many lifetimes, we’d lived in a lot of the same places at the same time, but never connected with each other. This time, we were at the same school. I finally noticed her when the alphabetical seating chart put us next to each other in class. Over the years, we’ve formed what you could call a new soul connection.
Soul groups and soul mates are just different types of relationships. As with other kinds of relationships, people often stay out of habit, duty, or guilt. Sometimes it is possible to shift easily between groups and sometimes it takes a truly horrific circumstance to sever group connections.
Consider your relationships. Are the agreements – the contracts – you made with this person or group something you still want? Is your cycle of lessons complete?
Reviewing your agreements and then making a deliberate choice allows you to leave a group or person that doesn’t fit anymore. You can move forward intentionally.
The main reason we think soul connections are so special is that they occur when two people recognize each other spiritually. When you greet someone “spirit to spirit,” you create a soul connection by acknowledge them on both a body level and a spiritual level.
Focus for a moment on yourself – the spiritual being full of light – and acknowledge the brightness of your own energy. Then consider how much of that brightness you allow the world to see on a daily basis.
The more brightness you show, the more you greet people as spiritual being, the more spiritual hellos you will receive in return.
Rev. Heidi Buswell