Reflecting on the past year gives me the opportunity to validate what I have accomplished. Quiet meditation on what I have lived through helps me realize what I have created to gain strength and self-knowledge.

This past year my husband passed away after an extended illness.Reflecting on the past year I confirmed a great deal of what I believe during this experience: that love is the greatest power in all circumstances, that the human body has amazing strength, that there is always help when you need it, that communication is a wonderful healer and many more beliefs were tested and validated.

During the last sixteen days days of his physical life, my husband Peter did not have any food or fluid. He simply stopped eating and drinking anything. As his body declined, he, the spirit, continued to shine and communicate. He smiled often and said he loved me and how much fun we had shared. He often said for me to take care of myself. His concern for others continued till the last. When he had difficulty talking he held my hand and even mustered the strength to raise my hand to his lips and kiss it. His love was strong to the end.

For all of us who have said goodbye to a loved one, remember they are spirit and are eternal. We have not lost them, they have just moved into a different reality. Letting go of that body and personality is challenging for those of us left in human form. Be strengthened by the knowledge that you are both spirit and will be together again if you choose.

In the process of letting go I have gained strength and a greater understanding of being human. I have experienced more emotion from my body and allowed it. I have found strength where I didn’t believe there was any left. The physical demands of closing a farm business, selling the land, moving to a different city and also caring for my husband, often seemed impossible. On top of that I was still doing my work with CDM.

Amazingly enough all of these physical demands were met and CDM is flourishing in a new way, thanks to many giving friends and helpers and to my letting go. The challenge is to continue believing that help is always there, if you can have it, because the letting go process is often as challenging as the adrenaline fed emergency stage. After a demanding race your body needs to recuperate and patience with yourself is required for the healing that follows the excitement.

During the letting go, instead of focusing on your loss, meditate on what you have gained through your experience. You may have gained greater strength, insight, compassion and understanding. Your focus on love may have awakened or increased. Be still and you will learn to know yourself and what any experience means to you. Your quiet meditations can give you time to communicate with yourself, the spirit, and your body. You will naturally have difficult times with emotional intensity and maybe even physical illness, but that may be a lesson in receiving, trusting and letting go of your patterns. Remember time and meditation are wonderful healers and will allow you to know yourself in order to keep going and growing.

Reflection on my loss has brought me through disturbance to joy many times. When I started on this journey of letting go it seemed overwhelming but with meditation and healing help the process has gone easier than imagined. My encouragement is to meditate on your loss or any life creation to see what you have gained and to use the experience to learn to know yourself. Remember, our seeming loss can be a joyful transition for our loved one.

by Mary Ellen Flora
January 2017

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