This is the story of a personal epiphany. The simplest definition of an epiphany is an “ah ha” moment. However, there are two other definitions that I like better:
• An illuminating realization or discovery, often resulting in a personal feeling of elation, awe, or wonder.
• A usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something – an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure.
During a recent meditation, I was focusing on my path forward for 2020. I was reviewing the cycles I was about to complete and deciding what new cycles I wanted to set in motion. As part of this process, I asked for some spiritual guidance. The response was direct and very clear: You don’t have to alter your direction to help others; they will alter theirs to find you.
This comment triggered one of those illuminating moments. It shook me with wonder. It changed my response to the world as a healer in a fundamental way.
Several people that I care about are currently experiencing a lot of stress and pain. I have spiritual information and healing techniques that I believe would be both a help and a comfort to them. They all know that I have information to share. I’ve reminded them, on a spiritual level, that I am willing to assist.
There were two basic responses. The first was, “Do it for me.” In other words, take responsibility for my healing so I don’t have to. After I said no, the second response was, “Please stay really close in case I need you – even though I don’t need you right now.” In essence, this request was for me to put myself on hold for them until they were sure they wouldn’t need me (weeks, months, or years).
As a healer, I want to heal, so I found myself complying with this request. I was actually altering my direction. Not totally leaving my path, but taking a side road and putting my personal healing work on hold – focusing instead on the needs and issues of others. I’d placed myself “on call” and, to my own mind, that made me unavailable for more intense personal healing projects.
After my epiphany, I pulled my energy back – way back – and canceled my “on call” status. When I did this, a couple of interesting things happened. First, I discovered a variety of my own issues that I’d been subconsciously avoiding. (Focusing on the needs of others creates a handy distraction.) Second, was the sense of relief my body experienced.
I suddenly stopped feeling responsible for healing other people’s pain just because I could see it clearly. Instead, I returned to the root of the word responsible. I went from being accountable for another’s situation to being able to respond to another person’s request for assistance.
These people all know me. They know what I can offer and know how to contact me. If they need my assistance, they will ask for it. They will come to me.
By Rev. Heidi Buswell
January 12, 2020